Ok let's be clear this post is personal ranting. But you know where I live, what I eat and what I work as anyway so feel free to read on.
I have come to a position in life where I'm stuck between feeling like something and also feeling like nothing.
Let's be clear here, I am 21, have a degree, have a job and am currently halfway to competing my masters. Surprisingly I don't think this is extraordinary, especially when compared to an average Indian youth my age.
Yet every single time I apply for a job or start talking to people about my plans for the future, I get the same, you're still very young or you are yet to see life. I understand that my age is minuscule but denying me the ability to think out loud and put a few plans in place, though on currently weak foundation is not very promising.
I have plans in life, I dream because I can dream, but my personality is such that I like to talk out loud about things that give me pleasure.
I realize that one problem at the root of this is possibly because I am spending too much time with people significantly older to me. Not that its bad, but attitudes do influence you. Everyone, right from work to college to my roomies are atleast 2 years older to me if not more. After spending 3 significant years with people your age, this sudden change and consecutive age cap does have an effect.
BMM and more importantly degree college was a cluster of people of about the same age and having the same thoughts. Even if your closest friend was into movies and you were into comics, your way of thinking did cross at quite a few points in time.
Masters at my university here in Dubai, on the other hand, sees a bunch of people who just come to attend lectures and can hail from totally different backgrounds. They might me doing the same course for a uniquely different job portfolio than yours. Conversation is rare, especially the deep and engaging kind. Such a buzz-kill.
This was one of the reasons why towards the end of my first semester, I felt like quitting. Sincerely, just quitting. Because whatever I was doing didn't feel like education with a purpose. Just education. But sometimes unknown things push you. Again, being Indian you DO NOT leave education. You just wait to complete all of it. Also, my parents have suffered too much to get me to where I am. Wouldn't be fair on me to turn a blind eye to all that.
Anyways, where it stands now is me in my third semester. Still bored with the disgraceful Masters Student Lifestyle in Dubai (That of A Snob I tell you) and hoping, wishing, waiting that at least one of the many in my friend circle makes it to Dubai (I swear I'll treat you to Shawarmas every month for a day, or in simple terms, FREE FOOD. Come Na!).
About the 'too young' and 'haven't seen life' comments. Guess they'll keep coming till I'm old enough to make the same comments to another young guy who thinks too much of himself.
The nasty part behind me. I have good news to tell you. Firstly, Its been slightly over a month since I have joined a gym and the results are really motivating. Of course 'The Gym' also brings along 'The Diet', but I'm working out and eating right with a roomie and this whole work out partner thing also works wonders. Secondly, I got my Omani Driving License (Which If you don't know means you definitely don't check Facebook often, or are possibly not friends with me), which means that while I still don't know when I start actual driving, I actually have hope that I will someday at least now. Thirdly, I complete three months on October 15th at Hang On Media and the experience so far is promising; bringing up an advertising agency while learning and working on social media only brings me happiness.
So that's it for now. I think I should stop apologizing for sporadic posts. My blog = my wish. Anyways, since I changed the blog url I wonder how many of you read the blog!
Tasbah Ala khair or Good Night as it translates into English.
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